Our entire lives are dictated by an entity that seems nearly imaginary, and no I do not mean God. I am referring to time.
Maybe God is just time, the right timing for a“miracle,” for that cosmic coincidence, or misfortune. Time is also money, so they say in America primarily. But I disagree, America. Time is not money. If you lose money, because of some poor financial decisions or another kind of adversity, you still have the chance to get your money back – over time. But you do not get time back. Time is ongoing. Physics has come to argue that time could potentially be another dimension.
Space and time are a loaf of bread, every past moment is and will stay that way in this indestructible loaf of bread, or so I read in an astrophysics book once upon a time.
Time does not flow like an arrow, but this reading does. It has a beginning and an end, like your life does, and the sandwich you ate at lunch does, and your favorite song, and your last relationship. I can’t see time, but I can see the ticking of a clock, indicating that with every tick the tick is gone and I’ll never have it back – at least not yet.
We can control many things, but we haven’t tamed time yet. It goes on and on, relentlessly, waiting for no one, and it forces you to see forward and check your watch nervously because you’re anxious for class to end, and you might be running late to be somewhere – you’re not on time. You’re past time, or before time. Just like when you were born and when you will die. And even though the thought of your own death terrifies you, time makes it seem so distant a concept. An idea you can barely fathom, like time, because you can not detect it.
I can’t see you, time, but I can see the lines on my parents’ faces becoming increasingly marked, the force known as time etching away at their features. Time creates erosion -time does erode. Your brain, the Grand Canyon, your teeth, and the entire world I’d say.
Time also has a fading effect; it faded my love for Barney and hatred for Caillou, and it faded your love for me. (They say time heals all wounds, so I do not fret.)
But time means growth. I grew, not very much but I grew, and my nose became exponentially bigger over time, and I warn my brother his already abnormally large ears will continue to grow over the years.
And because you and I cannot control time, we wait.
Waiting for the rain to stop, waiting for a friend outside his house, waiting for my food to be hot, waiting for a droplet of inspiration, waiting to win the lottery, waiting for a diagnosis, waiting for a call back, waiting in line to go to the bathroom, waiting for straight teeth, waiting for a miracle, waiting for a band to come on stage, waiting for better days.I continue to wait, passively and impassively. As humans living in the 21st century time, perhaps, time will seem to escape us even more rapidly than generations before us. The constant hurry and fear that time is running out, Carpe Diem and ‘YOLO’, are the social colloquia that dictate our lives. Risk your life, time is uncertainty. Your time is coming.
Nobody wants to wait in line, so I wished to hit fast-forward. When my parents were the wardens of my life, and when I entered some academic cells known as classrooms, or when I struggled to recover from a heavy case of ‘broken heart’, I wished for time to move faster. Which by turn of the same coin meant I was wishing for my own death to approach faster.
The passing of an hour: sixty minutes, each comprised of sixty seconds, which lead into milliseconds – is so fast you can’t even count it. Life passes you by in millions of milliseconds and you’re not even aware of it.
I wish I could be.
To better savor every beautiful moment, and the sad ones too, because they’re fleeting and escape us increasingly faster with the passage of time. It’s as if our internal clocks accelerate exponentially as we move through the day’s meaningless muddle of traffic, and unrequited glances.
Why not go back in time? Beyond the mental spectrum and day-dream fantasies, but to the actual time which you, like me, may have wanted time to last forever. Science may get you there one day. But for now, rest on the memories engraved in your mind of a moment in which you wished time would stand still forever – because time will fade this moment too.
But do not worry. You are timeless.